Belonging – Book Review

Belonging: A Daughter’s Search for Identity Through Love and Loss by Michelle Miller

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I will admit I was not familiar with Michelle Miller and only picked up “Belonging” because my cousin, Rosemarie Robotham, is the co-author. This year I have been enjoying memoirs on audio so decided to do the audio version.

When I started listening, I was on the cusp of my empty nest phase. I found the early chapters incredibly emotional. I’m not sure if that was the intent of the author or if her discussing her mother choosing not to be in her life was triggering to me as I was embarking on a new phase of my own parenting.

Belonging is beautifully written, and I was very quickly captivated. I did find that in the middle sections of the book the narration became almost clinical. As the author was discussing her years at Howard and her journalism days it began to sound more like a textbook on race and intersectionality than a memoir. I think Ms. Miller was reading those sections as a reporter rather than someone inviting people into her story. It’s hard to know if I would have felt differently if I had been reading it for myself.

Ms. Miller’s discussion about her desire to be publicly claimed by her mother was heartbreaking to read. As a mom myself who can’t wait to regale anyone who will listen with stories of my two amazing children, I found myself struggling to find sympathy for a mom who would make this choice. I did find lots of sympathy for the wounded daughter who reached out way too many times to try to create a relationship where none exists. I do hope Ms. Miller has found peace in the family she has created since the relationship with her own mother is not ever likely to be what she hopes.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to Belonging. I cried, sometimes ugly tears, I laughed, and most of all I connected with a woman I do not know. I am very glad that I learned her story and I plan to try to catch her on tv one Saturday morning so that I can see the woman behind this moving story.

One note about the audio version – you don’t get to see some of the fun photos that are included in the book. I actually went back and checked Belonging out of the library just to see the pictures.



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